color to abstraction

once, my boss was giving a friend of hers a synopsis of a book--i believe it was a bestseller. this book did not have a happy ending. in many aspects, it was not a happy book. then my boss said, "but that's life."

and i wanted to say no! that isn't life!! life is so much more than misery and unhappiness and uncertainty. why is it that books that are sad that are apathetic that are "controversial" that are contemporary sell so well? do people actually think that those books represent life? do they actually think that whatever is real in this world is compounded in such cold works of literature? if you look at a list of bestsellers, you'll see books about murder and rape and theft and corrupt religious figures and government conspiracies. why do these things intrigue people? why do we let things we fear seduce us?

i cannot understand why praise is given to people who highlight the dark things in this world. it is one thing to overcome a fear, but it is entirely something else to take something you fear and strip it of its reality in order to use it in a book.

tell a story! a truly good book will lay a fear before its audience and illustrate how it works through the piece--how it is of its own accord, not how it is used. fear in life is something that can be created, something that can be exploited, but it is never not real. fear is always real. and if it plays a part in a novel or a film, don't disrespect it by giving it a cursory role, or else it will remind you of its potency in the rudest of ways. and people who don't fear are fools.

on saturday, we went to my cousin's house to celebrate his graduation from eighth grade. while i was sitting at the dining table eating, a group of my aunts and uncles read from a book of things compiled by eighth graders. one section was based on predictions--where that student thinks he or she would be in ten years. my cousin--who has been a difficult child throughout--wrote that he plans to live at home for five more years, then leave and travel the world. he said he did not know where he would be but that he would live with his friend. and my aunts and uncles, my parents, they all laughed. i did not.

i don't think its funny that my cousin doesn't know better. i don't think its funny that my cousin is ignorant. and instead of laughing at him in his ignorance, someone should try to teach him! even if he is stubborn, laughing at him won't keep him from believing that he can live a carefree life in ten years. all i said was, "we'll see about that."

isn't it amazing what kids can do to their parents? isn't it amazing that after so many years of parenting, parents can laugh at other children when they are wrong? they are so weary, that all they can do is find humor in what should be disturbing. i hope i am not that kind of grown-up.