stairway to paradise

i roared with laughter and kicked my feet with pleasure when i heard: they're going to have a concert up in L.A. in tribute to John Williams. the philharmonic orchestra is going to play some of his famous pieces from star wars and indiana jones and schindler's list.

i heard about this on kmozart, and while i don't listen to this station unless my father has control of the radio dial, i didn't feel like listening to anything overly energetic this evening as i drove home from work. i was rewarded with Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" which they played scarcely minutes after my fingers had left the console.

it was the piece i listened to one warm summer's night in july six years ago that altered my desire to learn piano into determination. everything i endured afterwards at the piano bench was endured in order to be able to one day play that piece. the desire lay dormant within while i learned finger exercises, scales, and easier pieces. then i procured a 5 page rendition of "Rhapsody in Blue" and learned it.

which brings me to my problem. i am neither deficient nor proficient...in anything. i can play the piano rather well, but not well enough to play substantial piano pieces. i recall latin vocabulary words and took four years of it in high school, but i can neither read nor write it. and its frustrating to be stuck in the middle because i know i could do so much better if i had just learned it properly. but what i end up with are bits and pieces of skill that are sometimes useless. i never progress. after two years of piano lessons every other weekend, my piano teacher asked if she could stop teaching me because i lived out of the way and it was such a hassle to drive to our house on the weekends. i was left with a half-formed piano talent. i took four years of latin in high school but my teacher had no discipline and virtually no direction. i was left with a cursory knowledge of the language. and yes, i am to blame too since i only did as much as i needed to to be able to play the piece or to be able to get the A.

that is why i can only play the 5 page rendition of "Rhapsody in Blue". i do have the sheet music for the unjabridged version but it is nearly as thick as some of the workbooks i used in elementary school (exagerrating, of course). after all, if you listen to it, its about twenty minutes long. if you ever able to find an unabridged, purely piano rendition i highly recommend it.

and if you're smart, you won't shortcut your dreams. don't do what i did--work hard and you'll be duly rewarded.