snake eyes

i was in first grade, under the tutelage of Mrs. Miske (pronounced like whisky, but with an M). i was working in a workbook. one of the questions asked, "what would you put in your museum?" or something to that effect. i wrote down things that seemed only right--among which i included "the president's cabinet". Mrs. Miske gave a loud crack of laughter when she read my answer and i didn't understand why, at the time. after all, there were always shows on TV saying how old this desk was or how antique this cabinet was. of course now i know that the president's cabinet applies to an important group of people as well as the place where he puts his clothes. perhaps, like S. Pastis' "box 'o stupid people" i could have the president's cabinet on a pedestal, secretary of state & c. with a big bow around the column.

i thought it odd when i saw it the other day, the strange sunlight coming in through the round bathroom window. when i stepped out of the house to go to work i knew the reason for it. the fires are back because of the heat and the smoke from them polluted the air until the sunlight shown orange instead of the usual clean yellow.

i must say, it is sweltering here.

on other news, this is officially my second week of summer vacation. that 4.0 gpa i was going for at the start of the quarter fell short: i got one B+. which irritates the hell out of me because i got an A in my upper division writing course, but for my other easier english course, my teacher gave me a B. my last paper was so much more superior than anything i had written for her yet and she gave me a B. she didn't even list her reasons! but they tell me i'll keep getting professors like that. it doesn't matter how hard you work. if they don't like it, you don't get the grade. i wrote 17 pages on Jane Austen for my E106 seminar and i got an A on that! and she gave me a B on a 7 page paper. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT! i don't think i will ever forgive her for giving me that B. ever. and i feel supremely sorry for those poor souls taking her writing course next quarter. fester, fester, fester.

aside from that, i've been bumming around the house on my off days and maintaining a patient and agreeable demeanor at work. today my boss, after praising me for my good work, said in no definite words that not even i am above being fired. i suppose she said it to humble me after saying how much she appreciated me: sure, you're great, but i can still fire you. well, it wouldn't be the first stupid thing she's done and after everything i've had to put up with, i'd be happy to leave. i'd like to see her try. i have been nothing but obedient and i've never given her any reasons to fire me. but i think she knows she'd regret it if she let me go. no one puts up with her the way i do, not even her one, long-time employee.

i am in a bitter mood today. i was fine when i got home, but just thinking about that B and her comment irritates me. everyone, everywhere gets cheated at least once in their life but its always worse when something you really work hard for, something you value is taken from you or corrupted. i worked hard this quarter, harder than, i think, i've ever worked before and i end up with four As and a B. the same thing at work, i work so hard to please her, to please our customers and i would love my job if not for the way i'm treated. and they keep telling me that that's life. they say i'm always going to have to work with people like my boss. i'm always going to have to accept lower grades from biased professors. as far as i'm told there is no end! and that's wrong but no one can do anything about it because it is always easier to just give in. give in to the biased professors, give in to the pompous bosses who think they can do no wrong. they don't outnumber us but at the same time going against them causes one so much grief. its not fair, its being cheated, but what can you do?

so, please, if you are a person with power, in a high position with people working for you, try not to be selfish. please? please try to think of your underlings once in a while and of consequences outside of the corporate world, outside of politics. we're all humans after all. in a Hobbesian state of nature, humans have to look out for there own interests and rulers rise arbitrarily. but i'd hope, by now, we'd have other methods of human relation and that we can at least work together towards something.